The Confidence Journey - I Was Not Prepared

After the first few weeks of recovery were complete, a new stage kicked in, one that I was not prepared for. This stage will be dubbed Struggle Stage.

Struggle 1: As I  headed in to being cleared for a small amount of gym time I didn't quite realize just how difficult it would be. The last two years I have consistently been in the gym, increasing strength and intensity. I was happy with the levels I was putting out, then enter recovery gym time, the restrictions that are present physically are a big mental game. Before surgery, I was hitting the stairs hard for 45 minutes 5-6 days a week. I was lifting heavy or doing high volume with moderate weight. The first day back in the gym with Dr. Morales and Sarah was a shocker, I couldn't engage my core, I couldn't get my heart rate too high, I couldn't lift over my head, I couldn't lift with my chest. I felt so stifled, I felt weak, I felt slightly defeated because my normal was no longer normal. I hit the elliptical, I hadn't stepped foot on an elliptical in years and I had to keep the pace fairly low, my heart rate needed to be between 125-130, that's it. I had a routine down that included a lot of glute and hamstring work, guess how restricted I am during recovery....leg day consists of 4 workouts with high volume. Seated hamstring curls, leg extensions, abductor and adductor, yep that's it. No squats, lunges, hacks or the like to get my behind in check. That has been one of the hardest parts, not being able to feel free in the gym, BUT I will be cleared to lift almost normal in 14 days, oh yes, 2 whole weeks and I get back to my real iron therapy.

Struggle 2: The itch that cannot be scratched. As you know, I had extensive surgery from chest to hips, the numbness that came along was a bit of an odd feeling. Roughly one month post-op, the itch came. As the feeling began to spark back to life in my midsection, the internal itch that could not possibly be reached began. Imagine trying to itch your intestines, that's basically the feeling, you can't, but it drives you crazy because it's so intense. Once I got a little feeling back on the external layers that I could feel on my abdomen came the most bizarre feeling. I would touch near my tummy tuck scar, but would feel it layers deep by my rib cage, apparently that is where that particular piece of skin used to reside.

I can use my core, a little, now. I am regaining feeling in my body with correct association of space. I am excited for hardcore prep to start and the journey that lies ahead. 148 days, but who's counting :)
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