The Confidence Journey - 100 days

Today, there are 100 days until showtime. Just 100 sets of 24 hours to get to where I need to be physically, mentally and emotionally. 100 days to get it right. I do NOT feel like I will be ready. Let me tell you what has been going on. Officially I have been on prep for 4.5 weeks, in that time my weight has barely moved. BARELY. Most certainly not as much as I had anticipated, I honestly expected to drop around 10-15lbs by now with the initial water weight loss....but that didn't happen. My calories have been cut, my cardio doubled and still I am stagnant. My frustration and anxiety level are through the roof as the days continue to pass with little progress. I get up every morning at 5am to hit the stair master for 45 minutes - roughly 150/200 flights of stairs. I go home and get everything sorted out there as far as Mom and Wife are concerned as well as get myself ready for work. I head to my corporate job, then back home in the afternoon for another 45 minutes of stairs and lifting. I end every day exhausted, sore and extremely discouraged. 100 days, they are ticking by and I feel like I'm failing. Everything is done as I'm told, but I feel like my body is not cooperating. I'm at a loss and defeated. I know that it is unwise to measure success by the gravitational pull of my body, but when you're in a sport that requires minimal body fat it is pretty hard to remove that portion of it from your mentality. Things are being done on the back end, I'll share later once I know more.
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Stephen had surgery with Dr. Morales February 14, just two weeks ago, and has managed to not do a lick of cardio and continues to eat a small village's worth of food daily and has lost 10+ pounds. This, my friends, is why women are made crazy by men. We can work our tails off to try and drop weight to no avail.
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I will be posting daily for the next 100 days, a diary of sorts, it's about to get real!

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The Confidence Journey - I Was Not Prepared

After the first few weeks of recovery were complete, a new stage kicked in, one that I was not prepared for. This stage will be dubbed Struggle Stage.

Struggle 1: As I  headed in to being cleared for a small amount of gym time I didn't quite realize just how difficult it would be. The last two years I have consistently been in the gym, increasing strength and intensity. I was happy with the levels I was putting out, then enter recovery gym time, the restrictions that are present physically are a big mental game. Before surgery, I was hitting the stairs hard for 45 minutes 5-6 days a week. I was lifting heavy or doing high volume with moderate weight. The first day back in the gym with Dr. Morales and Sarah was a shocker, I couldn't engage my core, I couldn't get my heart rate too high, I couldn't lift over my head, I couldn't lift with my chest. I felt so stifled, I felt weak, I felt slightly defeated because my normal was no longer normal. I hit the elliptical, I hadn't stepped foot on an elliptical in years and I had to keep the pace fairly low, my heart rate needed to be between 125-130, that's it. I had a routine down that included a lot of glute and hamstring work, guess how restricted I am during recovery....leg day consists of 4 workouts with high volume. Seated hamstring curls, leg extensions, abductor and adductor, yep that's it. No squats, lunges, hacks or the like to get my behind in check. That has been one of the hardest parts, not being able to feel free in the gym, BUT I will be cleared to lift almost normal in 14 days, oh yes, 2 whole weeks and I get back to my real iron therapy.

Struggle 2: The itch that cannot be scratched. As you know, I had extensive surgery from chest to hips, the numbness that came along was a bit of an odd feeling. Roughly one month post-op, the itch came. As the feeling began to spark back to life in my midsection, the internal itch that could not possibly be reached began. Imagine trying to itch your intestines, that's basically the feeling, you can't, but it drives you crazy because it's so intense. Once I got a little feeling back on the external layers that I could feel on my abdomen came the most bizarre feeling. I would touch near my tummy tuck scar, but would feel it layers deep by my rib cage, apparently that is where that particular piece of skin used to reside.

I can use my core, a little, now. I am regaining feeling in my body with correct association of space. I am excited for hardcore prep to start and the journey that lies ahead. 148 days, but who's counting :)
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The Confidence Journey - 100 days

Today, there are 100 days until showtime. Just 100 sets of 24 hours to get to where I need to be physically, mentally and emotionally. 100 d...